Those pirates, they sure will get you!

On Cheryl Cline’s acerbic and always amusing blog:

Permit me a little whining: why does everyone ask the same questions, and act as if they’re the first to ever think of such objections? Here’s a few examples…

Question: Seasteading—the idea of living on floating platforms and ships in the ocean—is a novel approach to starting new governments, or just to life in general. But won’t you be raped and killed by pirates?

Answer: I’m glad you asked. Of course, rapists and murderers can only be found in the oceans—that’s why life is so peaceful on the mainland, rendering police forces largely redundant. No wonder the cops themselves must turn to assault, to keep things interesting. Much like you, we are more worried about the relatively sparse, unorganized, ragtag pirate outfits roaming the world’s oceans (but mostly concentrated around notoriously unstable countries) than we are about the governments boasting well-funded armies and navies, some of whose members are apparently skilled purveyors of torture. Let’s hang out at the Rainbow Lounge deep in the mainland, where it’s safe.

In accordance with this logic, I should point out that the floating resort ship known as the Residensea, occupied perhaps exclusively by the extremely wealthy, has been hijacked numerous times, with its well-off residents held ransom over and over by men with eyepatches and parrots.


Leave a Reply